Some people might say I am a Pollyanna, but I prefer to believe in the good in people. I have always gravitated toward good-hearted, honest, NO DRAMA people. I have no interest in gossiping about others and I deplore that “sport” in others.
As my children were growing up, I never accepted the invitations to “Margarita Mondays” with other mothers of their classmates because I didn’t want to participate in talking about the kids or their families.
The gossip mill is toxic and I refused to be a part of it.
I still pretty much only hang with a handful of friends I’ve known since I was young. We are of like minds. We are fiercely supportive and protective of each other. We do not gossip with or about each other. It’s simple really … we lift each other up, not drag each other down.
Looking back, I think it started for me with my mother and grandmother. My grandmother used to always say “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.” I worked hard to pass that lesson onto my children, as well as not gossiping or disparaging others. Work on your own behavior … set the tone.
Why is this such a novel idea in today’s world?
I received an email recently that was really quite upsetting. I intentionally stay kind of on the surface of social media, because I like it for sharing good things and want no part of the negativity (see my Grandmother’s advice above). But, it was brought to my attention that some fans have been getting into arguments on Twitter over what’s happening with Steve and Kayla. We all have different opinions, but arguing about stories and fighting over what Steve and Kayla do or say, or how they react to something. That is so upsetting to me.
First, although Stephen and I fight for our characters’ point of view, it’s ultimately a scripted show and our job is to “make it work” with the material we are given. We are passionate fans of these characters too, but some things are not in our control.
We love that Steve & Kayla fans are so passionate about these characters and their love story. And I’m happy to see the “community” that has developed as a result. I’ve always been so proud that these characters have brought people together, but to learn that the opposite is happening is honestly disheartening. With so much heartbreak and craziness going on in the world around us, I want to believe this show and this couple are things that bring people together … not add to the nastiness that can sometime take place online.
I hope that anyone who has read posts here at PLANK or seen interviews with me in the past understands the kind of person I am … the way I try to live my life.
Kindness does matter. The things we say (or post on Twitter or Instagram) matter.
Twitter groups, boards and fan clubs should be fun, supportive places to connect with people and have fun conversations. The idea that these could instead become places to shun or bad mouth people is just appalling and goes against everything I believe.
So, for me … and in the name of Kayla (who is a better person than me), … please keep it fun and supportive. Enjoy the camaraderie and leave the nastiness where it belongs – in the garbage can.