When I thought about this week’s blog coming up to Valentine’s Day, I wanted to write something about “relationships.” What a vast and complicated topic! Then I stumbled onto this little article by Nick Seneca Jankel (pg. 7) and I thought it said so much and so clearly! I especially connected to his third option for moving forward in a relationship.
On Nov. 3 of this past year, my husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary (and 35 years together), and I must tell you I don’t think we have ever been happier! Don’t get me wrong – we, like most couples, have had our ups and downs … difficult times that sometimes lasted for YEARS (or so it seemed at the time).
Luckily, neither of us could ever walk away from the other; and I suppose because of that, we found ways to navigate through the rough seas. Sometimes we lost our way, but we fought our way back. We worked to break the bad habits and “roles” we might have fallen into.
And that work has paid off! Now that our kids are grown, our efforts to not “fall asleep at the wheel” have brought us to this wonderful place. This amazing time is a result of many things, but two stand out as the most important.
First, we always made time for our relationship … whether it was date nights or vacations for just the two of us. That time together meant we didn’t have to get to know each other all over again when we became empty nesters. Today, as always, we are each others’ best friend, and we spend most of free time together.
The thing that I think has taken us the farthest, however, is that we are kind to each other. That sounds simple, but I know it isn’t always the case for some people.
For us, we don’t yell and scream, or demoralize each other. We compliment each other often – I tell my husband he’s handsome, and he says I’m beautiful. We snuggle when we watch TV and touch an arm when we pass in the kitchen. We are affectionate, and try to talk and communicate … even if it’s difficult!
I guess what I’m trying to say is we go the extra mile to make each other feel the love we have for each other. And it’s worked!
So I encourage you to work on your relationship and SHOW your love and appreciation for your mate. Let them know how special they are in your life – not just this Sunday, but everyday! I can almost promise that you’ll see things improve!
Hello Mary Beth!
I’m 42, and have watched Days all of my life! I have been a huge fan of yours since day one!! I love Steve and Kayla ,y’all are awesome together!! I have recently found all the old clips of you and Steve on you tube, I have watched them all again! so neat to watch again!! Thanks to social media I can follow you on IG, FB and this blog! I am absolutely amazed at how much we are alike. We look a lot alike! I love all your post on your blog and am amazed at how much we have in common. I love my family and friends and being together, love to garden and digging in the dirt!1 It’s my therapy!! I love the beach, water, and recently I’ve taken a brother/sister under my wing to help provide for them. My daughter shares a birthday with you then mine is on the 10th. My oldest daughter wants to be an orthodontist like your Katie. And I call my surprise blessing who is 2, my doll baby!! Pretty neat I think!! I am amazed at how much we have in common! We could pass for sisters from another mother!! lol It’s on my bucket list to hopefully meet you one day! I’m loving days right now, if they would bring your baby brother back! You and Steve are absolutely awesome together!! One question for you, How do you manage to get such good pics of your family? My children and husband hate for me to take pics. My daughters are 15,11 and 2 so this might have something to do with their cooperation!! Maybe a blog on advice to this subject would be great!! By following you on social media I feel as if you are a friend of mine!! All your Plank blogs are spot on with me and my life!! This one on relationships I so enjoyed,my husband and I are on year 17, I could relate to it so well. Keep up the good work, I love me some Steve and Kayla!!
Every week when I read your blogs I feel like I could write pages & pages about how I can relate to what you write & how wonderful it is to hear about your life & your views. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful/kind husband who is so supportive & generous. It’s only been 8 years for us, as it took me a second time to get it right. I feel so blessed to have met him. He the kindest man I know. Thank you for your blog. I hope you enjoy your Valentines Day with your husband. ❤️
I love this blog, so glad I found you MB!
MaryBeth,Its so lovely to read your blog..and Congratulations on your Anniversary..Joe my husband passed away just before our 5oth Anniversary, I still write a Valentines card for him which I put with flowers on his Tomb Stone…I also keep a jar where I keep all his cards I have written to him..Have a lovely Valentines Day 🙂 xx
Brenda,
What a sweet thing to do for your beloved husband. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you Stacey for your comment…:)
This is perfect!! My fiancé and I are getting married in 3 months and the stress about the wedding can become overwhelming. Last week we both had to take a step back and just realize “hey this is about our love for eachother, and it’s not worth the stress of pleasing everyone.” Ever since that conversation life has become so much easier. I am so excited for this new transition, and can only hope after 35 years we will still be that loving couple like you and Michael have remained to be!
Love it! Great simple advice, but so very needed in all relationships. <3
Thank you so much for a great post! Relationships take work. Marriage takes work. It isn’t ‘fairy tales, flowers and hearts in your eyes’ all the time. There will be tough times, but I think those times make us stronger. Not only stronger as a couple, but stronger individuals as well. We grow as people, and it makes us appreciate each other more. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years. We are also kind to each other, treat one another with respect, support each other, and make time for each other. The work we each put into making our marriage a success has been so worth it. Hope you both have a Happy Valentine’s Day.
Love this Mary Beth! Perfect for Valentines week. Kind words are so important in a relationship and it always saddens me to hear someone talk unkind about their spouse or other relationships. I’ve been blessed to be married to my husband, my best friend for 21 years. I love how you and Michael have done things together through years, continued to go on dates, vacations and just doing things together. It is so important in a marriage. Thank you for sharing. I think it’s important for others to hear including myself, who Having two teenagers at home can get so caught up in their lives, it’s easy for my husband and I to forget to take time to be together. Thank you for this encouraging blog!
Thank you for this very simple reminder. I couldn’t agree more. I vowed a long time ago to always speak my truth….with kindness. It has served me well in relationships. Thank you Lovely Lady!!
Congratulations Mary Beth on your successful marriage. I have been married to my husband Mike for 32 years. Real love isn’t a fairy tale, it takes work but it is so worth it! Treating each other with respect and taking the time to talk to each other when a problem arises are critical to making a relationship work. My husband is my best friend and we do everything together, whether we are on some exciting new adventure or just running to the store to buy groceries. I still have every card and letter he has given me. I am so thankful that he and I grew up in an age without text and emails, so we have these little treasures to look back on.
We will celebrate 14 years this year! Life hasn’t always been kind to us. We’ve lost a child and suffered financial stress after my husband was laid off. But our deep love for each other has remained a constant and been a touchstone for us when sometimes, it seemed, the only people who truly understood us – was each other. I’m proud to say we do some of the same things you mentioned and I love “grossing out” my boys when we kiss or hug. I hope they emulate their Daddy and treat their wives one day with this same kindness and affection. Thank you Mary Beth for the reminder of never taking our loved ones for granted.
Oh Wow!! that was really sweet. The realistic sweet, not the I think Im going to vomit kindlol. Thanks for sharing your “Happily/always working at it Ever After”. Now…. to get through Single Awareness weekend:)
Working on relationships is what so many couples fail to do, I think. None of us is perfect and as much as a partner may annoy us with little habits, we also annoy them. I am sure there are psychologists who have spent much time studying this, but your advice about being kind should be the bedrock of any relationship and wouldn’t it be nice if we all practiced kindness to everyone we come in contact with, not just a partner!
Relationships are a mystery since there’s so many different relationships we can have. And relationships change. I’ve learned not everyone interprets love the same way. There’s different love languages. Finding ones love language allows you to fulfill it.
I am not affiliated with Gary Chapman. I just like his book. Website is included.
Adorable blog post Mary Beth! I too feel that kindness is such a large part in making a relationship successful! I hope that you and Michael have a great Valentine’s Day!💕
Thanks for posting 🙂
What a beautiful post! I have been married 32 years. My husband and I love this empty nester stage of our lives because we too always made time for each other!! It doesn’t take a lot of money. When we first started date night years ago, we couldn’t afford to go out and get a sitter. So, we waited until the kids were tucked in and made a lovely dinner. It was perfect! May God bless you and your hubby with many more years!
As always Mary Beth, another great blog!…My husband and I have been married now for 19 years and sometimes I find that it’s amazing that we are still together!…We have been thru a lot but I find that now is “our” best times!…Thru all the up & downs we have found that we DO truly love each other and are each other’s best friend! So, thanks for reminding me to stop, take a breath and take a look at just how far we’ve come as a married couple! Hope you and your hubby Michael have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!
So very true! Hardwork, love and respect are what makes a relationship work. As you said MaryBeth it is never easy but the payoff in the end is more than worth it♥