It’s funny … this thing called life. I’ve had the past few weeks off of work; and while I’ve been busy checking things off my “to do” list that sometimes get forgotten or ignored, I’ve also had some time to reflect and observe. And it’s brought some interesting (and probably random) things to mind.
Over the course of the day, we can observe so many interesting scenarios. Life moments. A mom at the bank, trying to deal with her bickering middle school age children. The sweet couple walking down my street with their tiny baby in a carriage … it’s all so new and exciting, but they’re perhaps a little shell-shocked (or maybe just sleep deprived). Being out to dinner and seeing the crazy toddler run by with one of the parents in hot pursuit.
I remember each of those struggles. From the once sweet and loving child, to the sullen high school years. From the “Mommy, mommy, are you watching?” to the pulling away and crappy attitudes you hate. As I’ve said before, parenting is a continuous series of letting go. And often it’ll leave you shocked and wondering “how on earth did this happen?” There can be such a sense of sadness and loss with this, and I remember wondering, “who took my babies?” Parenting is rough that way, and I sometimes have to remind myself that my children don’t realize that just a minute ago I was kissing their “boo boos.”
I remember babysitters I had in the summer, home from college and sharing the difficulties they were having with their parents. “I mean after all I live on my own … why do they need to give me so many rules?” As parents, it’s hard for us to see our children in a different light … to look at them and see the budding adults, as opposed to our babies. And yes, many of us probably believe it’s our house, and these are our rules. That’s true, but we have to let them grow up … let go and trust that it will be OK. I believe that can be one of our toughest jobs … adapting and changing with the tides of parenting. (Still, it is our home and we need to not be held hostage by those budding adults…)
Thinking about my parenting journey to this point, while I do sometimes wonder, “how did we do that?,” I also often find that my memories lean more to the sweet times than the challenging times … and I’m grateful that, for me, it’s basically a blur, with happy highlights. Sure, it was much more complicated than I thought it would be, but somehow most of us make it through the trials and tribulations of raising a family, navigating all that came our way, while also keeping our marriages together (or sometimes not). And I’ve realized that coming out on the other side is all about handling today … dealing with the moment at hand, while also reinventing, reinventing, reinventing!
I have heard people say, “I’m too tired, I can’t try again.” Whether it’s a new job, family troubles, new romance, whatever … and I am always amazed by that because, this is it …OUR LIFE … our ONE SHOT. We can’t waste a moment!!! For me, I’m kind of pissed when I have a shitty day … “Damn I just wasted one.”
I know I’ve said this before, but I know this to be true more and more every day – It is up to me, and frankly me alone, to grow and change … to push on and reinvent myself to reach a fuller, more satisfying life. One that is full of love and hope and surrounded by good uplifting people!
The road can get so damn rocky, and we may be thrown things we don’t think we can handle. But, no matter how much we might want to just stay in bed and pull the covers over our heads, we have to push on. Even though it might be unbearably painful, and we may ask ourselves why, we have to go through the fire. More often than not we’ll come out on the other side … better, stronger and hopefully with a little more compassion.
Everyday we will face challenges, big and small, but the key is how we approach them. In most situations, the ONLY thing we can control is our own response … how we handle things. And a big part of that is attitude, attitude, attitude …
And speaking of attitude (I said this might be random) …
The other day I was getting out of my car at the market and this older woman was knocked to the ground when her husband opened the hatch of their SUV. She was in great pain and couldn’t stand up. I called 911 and waited with them and their 60 something year old daughter, who had just arrived for a visit. The woman, who I learned is in her mid 80s, was dressed beautifully, with her hair and makeup done … you could see she took great care, and she was bright and witty. As the fireman arrived, she asked her daughter, “are they cute?” I loved that!
This may sound wacky, but I had to turn away because I started to cry. The daughter came over and hugged me, and I felt silly. I was just so overcome by the whole scenario. This lovely woman, who had never broken a bone in her life, and who was still rocking it in every way and still grabbing life full throttle … to think that she had injured herself in a way that might irrecoverably change her trajectory … it was just so overwhelming.
That was another reminder for me to grab life and live every moment, in the moment. We can’t predict the future, and we certainly can’t change the past … we can only strive to do and live better. For others, but most importantly for ourselves!
You are an inspiring and beautiful person Marybeth….. never change anything about yourself! I’m always inspired by every blog you make and post. Thanks for sharing with us.
Mary Beth,
Boy, this blog post really hit home with me on Thursday!! Perhaps, it was the teenage attitudes over video games, or the toddler who has now set a new world record for saying Mommy, 37 times in a row, calling me to kiss his many boo boos. Or that maybe, because on Friday, I would be turning another year older, this post made me stop to reflect on this wonderful thing called life. The good, the bad, the ugly and the part I can change. There are a lot of things that you can’t control in life, but the biggest thing that you can control is your attitude towards it. I am learning that I would rather have a lifetime of oh wells, than what ifs….After all, like you said, we only get one chance at this.
This has been a challenging year on many different levels for me, but the Plank Blog has really opened my eyes and heart to things that I can do differently, and I thank you for that. I am putting the finishing touches on my vision board!! What fun that was too!!!!!!! Looking forward to accomplishing some of the goals, and reminding myself daily of things I can do to make my life and other’s lives better. Included in that board was the dream of meeting you… and imagine my shock when I looked at the attendees for the Days Nashville event. Needless to say that was the best early birthday gift ever!!! I am so excited to finally meet the person responsible for motivating me to make needed changes. I had my best birthday ever, and the entire day was devoted to kindness for others. I only have 363 days to think of how I can top that next year.
For now, I have a whole lot of living to do…I have three boys to cherish, a senior to slowly let go of, a freshman to hold onto just a little longer and toddler who tomorrow will attempt to set a new record of how many times, he can say mommy in a row and who will have more boo boos for me to kiss… oh and looking forward to meeting you in just a few weeks!!! I am so very, very blessed.
Thank you again for sharing yourself with us.
Nikki
Mary Beth, A new week a new favorite!!
Like sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives. The Days go fast and the years go faster!! I have never been more sure of this until Now!! Having two older girls then my two year old, I see how fast time is moving Having her is like deju va of my older girls. She does everything they did( which seems like yesterday). They laugh at her until I tell them they did the exact same things she did, like cry in the car wash. They say “really” ,laugh then give me that look, and I say yes “really”!! I’ve always tried to be the Mother that enjoys every phase and not dwell on the past! My Grandaddy’s wife used to say “time waits for no one” and was she right!
This blog yesterday was perfect timing because I was having a crappy day. My bigs were fussing and arguing all day, the little refused a nap, and we know how bad that can be and I was ill at everybody, heck, I was even ill at myself. So your words of wisdom were just what I needed and once again you had just what I needed to hear! So I realized that things could be much worse and I needed to put my big girl panties on a deal with it… this thing called life!!
Thank you for such inspiring blogs! I sure hope to meet you in person one day! Kelley in South Alabama
Mary Beth, a new week, a new favorite!!
Like sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives!! Days go fast and years even faster!! I’ve never realized this more than NOW! I guess having my two older girls and then my two year old I see it on such a day to day level. Everything my little one is doing is deja vu as what my big girls did! They laugh at her until I say you did the exact same thing, they respond “really” then laugh and give me “that look”! Yes, you too were terrified of the car wash!! and that’s just one example! I see how fast she is growing and what is is already doing and I know I’ll blink and my baby will be 15 too!! It’s so hard to grasp how fast it all goes! My Grandaddy’s wife always said” time waits for no one” how right she was.
This blog was perfect timing for me because I was having a real crappy day yesterday, My girls were ill and fussing, the little one refused a nap, and we all know how bad that can be!! I was ill at everybody, heck, I was ill at myself!! I just really needed your words of wisdom and you didn’t let us down. Ever since I found out of the little ‘surprise blessing’ my motto has been “one day at a time”. I thank you for the timely reminder and a good kick in the butt that things could be much worse, to put my big girl panties on a deal with it!! Keep those blogs coming, I’m still hoping to meet you in person one day!! Kelley in South Alabama
Thank you very inspiring Mary Beth. I really needed to read that at the moment.
Beautiful and inspiring as always. Thank you again for being so open and real. I needed this. ❤
Hi MB– Thank you for sharing more of your personal thoughts with us. I’m sure most if not all of us here found this blog b/c we’re fans of your work. We love you for that, but now we love you for so much more– Who MBES is as a person. It’s a bit of a relief to hear that someone who seems (and does) “have it all” still has the ups and downs. Your posts over the last few weeks have had me thinking a lot. A lot about marriage/love and the trials and tribulations that come with that and a family. The kids add so much more of a difficult layer, but also bring so much joy. I am hopeful that some day, like you, my memories will lean to the ones that give me a smile, as opposed to the ones that make me sigh and relieve the exhaustion I am currently facing with 2 LOs. Marriage alone can be a struggle. Having way too many days without S&K, I watched old youtube clips and I wondered, how did you do it, how did your relationship survive? You were still pretty much newlyweds. I know my DH would have been so completely out of his mind at some of the scenes… I’ve read and heard in interviews, it’s never as sexy as it appears, but still…. Then there’s the fans and the attention. My guess is you (and SN for that matter) are very fortunate to have found the perfect and understanding match for you to enable you two to work so close together for so many years and to be such great friends on top of that. But, let’s move beyond the job. Kids add stress. How did you make it through? There are many days I wonder if my relationship will survive, and it’s been threatened quite a bit just from the pressures/stress/exhaustion etc.
I’ve rambled. Thank you for letting us in on the real you and we all look forward to you being back on our TVs more than 1x per week every 2 weeks… which is ludicrous and where do we petition?
Thank you Mary Beth..as always a lovely read..I see elderly people walking down the road hand in hand..so lovely,reminds me of myself and my late husband in our youth,such a long time ago..wishing I could still do that but now only in my dreams..xx
Mary Beth great blog! Speaking truths is something you do with grace. You have been an impact in many changes in my life since I found your blog at the beginning of the yr. My mom use to tell me the same thing you have one life make it yours. She Told me a few days before she passed that I had to find myself again and be the independent, courageous and caring person I once was. Life had thrown some curves my way and changed me and I became someone I didn’t know anymore. So after my mom passed I stepped up and said look out I’m coming back and will be me again. With time I have worked my way back to being that person who cares about others but doesn’t let them drag me into their drama. Life happens and only we can control that so I am moving back into the drivers seat and I hope I come out on the other side with everyone still with me. My family will be there as will my friends that are family the rest will make up their own minds as to whether they are there for the FUN or not.
Thank you for sharing yourself and thoughts with us the fans. Know that you impact so many with your positive loving heart.
Cindy
Thank you for this. You are absolutely right in everything that you said. Since my niece’s death last week, I find myself thinking about how short life really is. It’s really all about the choices that we make that will decide our destination. My niece made a horrible mistake that cost her the ability to raise her son. Although I am saddened by that, there is a little boy that needs us to be there for him and help him grow into a loving, healthy adult.
Cheryl…terrific! Loved YOUR little blog! Good job on the changes👌🏼. I can’t wait to meet up in NYC.
MB, loved it, as usual. It’s always good to remember that our days on this earth are numbered. Live it up💖
I am grateful to you for sharing your random but always inspiring blogs! I have met so many people like Cheryl through our mutual love of a character you and SN play onscreen! You inspire me daily and remind me parenthood is a journey to savor as I sometimes wonder if my children will ever leave home!! Thanks
For everything!
Well said! You are such an inspiration! Your honest words motivate others to take hold of life, enjoy every moment (even the scary ones), and truly live it! Thank you so much for being a positive force in this world, and for sharing of yourself with others!
Hi Mary Beth,
Thank you so much for this!!
I love your message in this blog it inspires me to live my life with more courage when I’m afraid to do things that make my life more satisfying..
I love your wise positive view on life and that you show your own imperfections to us.
Xoxo
Elise
Ever since I retired..my days go bye quickly and some days I accomplish. .zip…normally my ocd would rage and I would be upset that I wasted a day. John Lennon said ‘time enjoyed wasted ..is not wasted’…now I realize that it is ok..the crap is still going to be here and that’s ok. When I only had my oldest boy I would often wonder how folks managed with 2 kids..then I had 3. Now I am sitting here watching my 2 yr old granddaughter play with my antique eggs …her shorts are too small and her baby but crack is showing for all the world to see…and I realize that that is ok..it’s a stark comparison to my 8 year old grandson who now just grunts when you talk to him … thank you for this wonderful blog post!
Thank you so much for this blog, it is inspiring me to be a better person.. With love, K
Oh, Mary Beth! This blog spoke directly to my heart! I still have tears in my eyes as I write this to you. I shared your blog with my X-ray tech that has become my second mom and my biggest cheerleader. She is 70 years old had has been praying for 8 years for me to start living my life for myself instead of for everyone else. After she read your blog she hugged me really tight and said “I’m so glad someone finally got through to you and I’m so proud of the recent changes you have made in your life”. Recently I had lightening struck my house (for the 4th time) resulting in major damage and loss to some of the contents. It was the like the “straw that broke the camel’s back”. I decided within 24 hours that this was a sign to rid myself of this money pit of a home and sell all my land that consumes all my limited free time to maintain it. Within one week, my children and I chose a home in the town where I work and a purchase aggremment was signed within 2 days. Each night when I get home from work no matter how late it is, I pack and purge my possessions. As I take those totes to the storage unit each morning before work, I feel a pressure being lifted from my shoulders. My present home was the home that my ex-husband and I had custom built and all the furnishings and decorations were done together. I have been living here with my children for the last 10 years since our separation in basically the home that he left. Everything was basically the same and I guess maybe somewhere deep down (if I’m totally honest with myself)I thought if I preserved it as he left it maybe it would be like he really didn’t leave. It may have took me a long time but with your inspiration I was able to finally make the brave step into a new inspired life.
All my life I have always lived my life for someone else, either my parents, my husband, my children, my profession. Trying to be the one that always followed the rules and tried to make everyone happy despite my needs or wants. Because of your inspiration, I have realized that I truly only have one life to live and I better get busy making it a good one because I’ve kinda not done that great a job so far. I want to live up to your mother-in-laws idea that our 50s are the best decade!!
I want you to know that I appreciate your willingness to share your life so opening with us, your fans. Please know that you have reached at least one person to improve their lives and I will be eternally grateful!
Cheryl
Such an inspiring blog! I love this and it is just another way you have inspired me to make the changes in my life I am working on! I am always telling my clients to not focus on the past, but where they are going! Thanks for these inspiring words of wisdom!
Love, love this blog, it made me tear up too, as I have been stumbling a little more than usual (61), I dust myself off and get on my way, a little embarrassed but grateful to be able to get up. Every single day is a blessing, Mary Beth I just love your optimism and how you always remind us, our happiness and life is our responsibility. Thanks again for a another great blog.
Mary Beth, please keep sharing these “random” stories. You always take something away from your encounters 🙂
Beautiful thoughts on this warm summer day, Mary Beth! Thank you!
Five minutes before my best friend, Linda, passed away from breast cancer, she made me promise her that I would never let any opportunity for living a full life escape my grasp. We had spent many hours together prior to her passing where she expressed deep regret for not living her own life to the fullest.
My choices since that day over 12 years ago have enriched and blessed my life beyond measure. What a gift she gave to me!
You just painted the most beautiful portrait of life. I so relate to those moments where life squeezes the tears out of ya. Finding these moments of beauty are such treasures even if they have you reaching for the tissue box. Thanks for the share and validating the tears
Mary Beth,
I always enjoy how motivating your posts are! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your story! Hope the elderly woman wasn’t hurt too seriously!
Amen to that! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Wow…..just wow!! Continuing to amaze and inspire. I’m so grateful you lit up my tv screen 30 years ago Mary Beth!