This past weekend was a bit of a milestone for our family, as my oldest son got married. He and his wife threw a wedding in Mexico; and while I was excited to celebrate with them, as a mother AND a party thrower, it was a little hard to stay out of it. It was hard to not worry what kind of party it would be, or wonder if their planning covered all the bases. I had to remind myself … this was their event. Even when he asked who else he should invite beside family, I said it was completely up to them. And boy, they outdid themselves! It was so beautiful, with every detail thought out. It was such an incredible, moving weekend — a weekend none of us will ever forget!
I am sharing this, not only because it was such an exciting weekend, but also because I realize that many parents might face the same challenges I have. Sometimes, especially in this day in age, it is so hard to just let your kids do it on their own. Whatever it is — from forgotten homework (that we rush over) to endless advice — we want to protect our kids and prevent them from suffering in any way.
But what I’m learning more and more is that the better move is to say “I have faith YOU will figure it out.” We can’t (or at least I think we shouldn’t) make things happen for them. I think, in a way, our desire to help can sometimes stunt or delay their own growth. They have to stand on their own two feet , make choices for themselves, and yes, sometimes face the consequences. From my experience, that is how they grow.
Life is a journey for all of us … and so is parenting! It seems to me to be an endless series of letting go. Now that my children are grown, I think I will be faced with endless challenges to keep my mouth shut … but always my arms and mind open!
PS – Following the beautiful beach ceremony, my daughter-in-law, Sharon, surprised everyone at the reception with a blue velvet wedding cake. I thought it was such a fun idea! And it was delicious too, so I decided to find a recipe to try … and I thought I’d share! Watch out — your mouths will be blue!!